D-group and Relationship

Again, God continues to show me how much He truly loves me. Yesterday was a very tough day, but also an amazing one. Jennica and I have been struggling the past few days or so with sexual temptation in our relationship. It got to a point yesterday where it went too far. We didn't have sex, but something God has been really revealing to me and convicting me about is that it is all about the heart in the situation. As Christ says in Matthew 5:27-28, anyone who looks upon a person lustfully has already committed adultery in their heart. It is was a very shameful thing to admit to, that I let my lustful desires get in the way and be a stumbling block for my amazing, beautiful girlfriend. Most of all, I consciously ignored the commands of my God and grieved Him by my sin and rebellion against Him. However, God's grace was so evident in her reaction to it, as she graciously accepted an apology that she said was unnecessary. Just another reason why I love her so much. Also, we have been doing a Bible study together once a week and are going through 1 John this week. Through my studying of it this morning, God spoke a lot of things over me concerning self-condemnation and guilt. I really feel free from those feelings. So, our relationship took another amazing step toward God, which is ultimately our goal.

Another evidence of grace was how amazing D-group was last night. God has been so evident in everything about it. After the events of the day and my failures in it, I was pretty messed up about being a leader of other believers if I couldn't even get my crap together. But God just spoke to me and reassured me that I will never have it all together and that by leading from a place of brokenness, I can step aside and truly allow Him to lead. As John the Baptist said in John 3:30, "He must become greater; I must become less." Last night, by stepping aside and allowing God to become greater, I saw Him begin a great work that I know he promises to continue to completion. (Philippians 1:6). I saw guys who didn't know each other open up about their pasts, things and addictions they have struggled with. We talked about our backgrounds, questions our doubts we may have about our faith. We laid hands and prayed over a guy who has had some medical problems (more on that guy in a minute). All of this was on the very first D-group, which was supposed to be a simple meet-and-greet!

There's John. John is from Nigeria and he grew up Catholic. He expressed some doubts and questions he had about his faith and is really exploring and hungry to know God. There's Aaron, who grew up the son of an AG preacher, yet struggled with partying, alcohol, and the like in high school. He only came to d-group because it was the only night he could make it, but by the end of the night expressed that he knew this is where God led him to be. Aaron is really wanting to build lasting relationships with fellow brothers in Christ. Taylor, who was in my d-group last year, is a caring, compassionate, intelligent guy who wants to be involved in a brotherhood of believers. Then there's Keaton. Keaton has been dating my sister for the past month or so and when I found out he was living in Conway I felt the strong urge to invite him to Chi Alpha and D-group. I was pleasantly surprised to see him not only come Monday night, but come to D-group. Keaton has had multiple strokes in the last few years, the most recent one being around a month ago. We had the opportunity to lay hands on him and pray God to heal him. It was so powerful and I'm excited to see what God does in his life this year.

I love God so much and he continues to love me despite of me. One verse that really hit home for me today. 1 John 4:18. If anyone who reads this has an encouraging Scripture or comment or needs prayer, hit me up.

In Christ's love