Over the weekend we went to Chi Alpha's Fall Retreat and God affirmed some stuff for me. The number one thing God showed me was that the majority of my adult life will not be spent in America, but most likely in Africa. Paul and Marionette, married missionaries who live in Zambia, were the guests at Fall Retreat and Paul was the guest speaker. Honestly, looking at them was God showing me a foggy mirror of what my life is going to be. The basic outlines and shapes are all the same, preaching the gospel with my family in Africa to unreached people groups, but the details, such as where and when, are different. This is very exciting but also very scary, because it means giving up comforts and everything I have ever known in my current stage in life. But I have also known what it is like to hold an orphan who is HIV-positive and was orphaned by the same disease that is killing him. I have known what it is to present the gospel to a person who has know knowledge of Christ. Those things are far greater than any luxuries or comforts that my current life has to offer. The biggest evidence of grace from the weekend is that God somehow wants to use me, a flawed, broken, undeserving, unworthy man, to further His kingdom and spread Truth.He wants me to spend my life glorifying Him and making His name famous. Overwhelming and scary, but at the same time so exciting.
Another huge evidence of grace in that was how the weekend affected my beautiful girlfriend Jennica. Her latest blog post details her reactions to the weekend. I want everyone to read it so I won't tell all of it, but to make a poor attempt at summarizing it she also saw this weekend as an overwhelming but beautiful glimpse into what our future can look like. I am so blessed that God has led me to someone who is willing to sacrifice everything that the world tells us is important and special for God. Honestly, everything about Jennica and I, from events that happened years before we met and all of the things we have experienced together, seem to be preparing us for a life of hardships and trials for the name of Christ. What a joyful life that will be! Because through all of the hardships we will see God's power and love in ways some never experience. Also, if it is God's will, we will be able to raise our children in such a way that the presence and love of God is more real and evident to them than I ever knew.
My final evidence of grace I can think of at the moment is the realization that when God gives you answers it often opens up even more questions. For example, now that I have a basic outline of how God wants to use me I now have a million questions. It's mainly logistics and details that I don't need to know and that I know God will take care of, but they are there nonetheless. I find this great and full of grace because it allows God to build in me a greater dependence on Him and by doing that to prepare me even further for what He has in store for me, in this life and in eternity. God, I love you so much!